Leapin' Lizards!
by ShadoeKylie
Summary: An elusive giant lizard has Burt and Kylie hot on the trail!
1. Default Chapter

**Leapin' Lizards!**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

This is Story 9 of "The Great Burt Baiting Saga." These stories center on the characters from Tremors: The Series, and feature Burt, Tyler, and all the gang from Perfection Valley. There are also original characters of my own creation - just so you're warned ahead of time. But please don't let that scare you off. I hope you enjoy them. 

While this story is a romance, the people involved are not the most cooperative people in the coupling department. The romantic elements take time to unfold. 

Feedback: Please let me know what you think of each story. I love feedback, both good and bad, and the more detailed the better. 

Disclaimer: "Tremors" is not owned by me or my affiliates, but by Stampede Entertainment, Universal Studios, and their affiliates. No copyright infringement is intended - just some good, clean (well, mostly) fun! 

E-mail: 

Thanks to my beta readers: LadyNRA & the gang at work

* * *

**Leapin' Lizards!**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

Perfection, Nevada, 8/29/2003 

"Almost finished," Burt muttered under his breath. Just a few minor adjustments. "Hand me that--" He sighed, then shook his head at his own folly as he realized Kylie wasn't hovering around somewhere behind him. He got up to get the screwdriver out of the truck himself. 

Kylie was in Bixby. "Getting her _hair done_," he muttered. About once a month, she took off for "Bixby" on the pretext of _getting her hair done_. Burt, though he knew very little about the ways of women - especially women like Kylie - knew it couldn't take three or four days to get _anything_ done to hair. Of course, he didn't see why the thought of Nancy cutting her hair horrified her, either. Nancy cut everyone else's hair in town, including his own. He suspected Kylie had a lot more going on than she revealed. But then, didn't she always? 

When she'd gone in June, he thought she was just enjoying the local nightlife in Bixby, much as Tyler often did. But Tyler didn't report seeing her, and a casual survey of the more popular locations yielded no sightings either. He then suspected she'd snuck off to Las Vegas. Subtle questioning, however, ruled that out. She just laughed at him and reiterated her story about _getting her hair done_. 

He made the few adjustments to the balance on the latest improvement to his seismo system and sat back on his heels, not really seeing the equipment his gaze fastened upon so intently. 

Following her from the valley was too obvious, so this morning he'd set out early and laid in wait on the busy road leading into Bixby. Her Range Rover had never passed his location. 

So where _was_ she? 

It was a mystery. 

And Burt Gummer did _not_ like mysteries. 

He didn't miss her. Certainly not. He'd grown accustomed to her assistance, that was all there was to it. She learned quickly, was eager to help, and didn't keep trying to talk him out of necessary security precautions on the grounds that he was being "paranoid." A capable assistant was necessary for his work - he'd managed to get a lot more done with her around. 

But he didn't miss her. 

He gave the screwdriver a quick toss and stood. He had a lot of testing to do in the morning and needed to get back to the bunker. He would just have time to-- 

He heard a roar. Or a screech, perhaps. His hand dropped to the Eagle as he listened to the sound echo, his eyes searching the darkness around him. 

Close, but not too close, he decided. His eyes narrowed as his mind sifted through possibilities. It was too deep to be a cougar, too loud to be a coyote. It wasn't - quite - the sound a graboid made as it metamorphosed into shriekers. He had recordings of those. 

It seemed to be full of anguish and pain - but that was ridiculous. 

He considered tracking it down, but decided it was too late and too dark to go hunting the unknown - alone. In the morning, he thought. He'd get Tyler and the two of them would find out what it was and take care of it. 

He wondered what new menace the Valley was about to throw at them. 

Burt pulled into town at 0715 hours. He'd spent the morning going over all the records for the past week of all the monitoring devices he'd installed throughout the valley. He'd found nothing. El Blanco hadn't made that noise. He'd been circling around the northern end of the valley for the past five days. He considered another graboid, but there was no sign that would indicate one, and his monitors were all functioning perfectly. 

Tyler was at the counter when Burt came in, already in the middle of his breakfast. Burt took the stool next to him and nodded to Jodi when she offered him a cup of coffee. "I need your help," Burt said. "There's something new in the Valley. We need to find out what it is and determine if it's a threat." Tyler glanced at him between forkfuls. "Saturday, Burt," he said. "I've got a tour in about an hour and three more scheduled today." He took another bite. "Why isn't Kylie going?" 

Burt pushed his hat back. "It's her Bixby weekend," he grumbled. 

"Nope," Tyler replied. "She got in late last night." He pondered that over another bite then shot Burt a grin. "Make that real early this morning. We hit the pass at the same time and raced to town. I won." 

Burt was surprised, but pleased. Then settled his face back into its usual stern lines. At least he wouldn't have to go alone, he told himself. 

"Breakfast, Burt?" Jodi asked. 

Burt nodded. "I think I'll have time." He'd just wait until Kylie came over and they'd be on their way. 

Almost an hour later, he was still waiting. He moved to the porch out front and glanced at his watch again. 

Tyler, leaning against the tour jeep out front, chuckled. "Not everyone gets up at the crack of O-Dark-Early, Burt. We got in pretty late last night." 

Burt shot him a glance, trying to think of some other excuse for loitering around Chang's this morning. He was spared as a carload of tourists arrived and Tyler went into his Tour Guide routine. 

But once the tour jeep left, he crossed the street to Nancy's. He knocked once and waited, none-too-patiently. Then raised his hand to knock again when he heard the doorknob rattle, then rattle again, and finally the door opened. 

Nancy stood there, her hands covered with pottery clay. "She's in the kitchen," she announced before Burt could say a word. She gave the doorknob a swipe with the stained rag she held, then disappeared back into her workroom without a backward glance. 

Burt found Kylie in the kitchen, huddled over the coffeemaker as it dripped liquid slowly into the carafe on the heater, willing it to drip faster. She was wearing that thin colorful robe Burt swore he could see right through, that somehow managed to be loose while clinging to her every curve. Her hair was tousled from sleep with one tuft at the top of her head standing almost straight up. 

Burt thought he'd never seen a sexier woman. 

Kylie turned to him after he'd stood there a moment, then turned her red-rimmed eyes pointedly toward the clock, then back to him. "Morning," she mumbled, pulling the robe closed and tying it. Her gaze went back to staring at her coffee. 

"There's something new out there," Burt announced. "I need your help to investigate." 

Kylie's eyes rolled up to the clock again, then back to the coffee. She grabbed a mug from the tree hanging next to the coffee maker and swapped it out for the carafe, carefully pouring the mug full from the liquid already in the carafe, then swapping the mug back out again. She took a cautious sip, closed her eyes in relief, then looked up at Burt. "Good morning, Burt," she said with something close to her usual cheer. "Why yes, I did have a lovely trip, sadly cut short by tragedy - not my own - but lovely all the same. Did you also have a productive day while I was gone?" 

Burt stared at her impatiently. "There's something out there we need to look into," he reiterated. 

She sighed and crossed the room to sit at the little table by the window. "After coffee," she told him, huddling over her mug. When neither his expression nor impatient stance changed, she sighed again and took pity on him, waving him over to sit down. "But go ahead and tell me all about it." 

Burt followed her and took the chair opposite her at the table. "I heard something last night," he said. "Didn't sound like anything I've come across, and the monitors show nothing." 

"Any idea what it could be?" 

He twisted her mug around and took a sip. "I think you've finally got it," Burt commented. 

"At last," she agreed, taking the mug when he set it down. 

"No idea. With mixmaster loose, it could be anything. Some sort of new hybrid, I suspect. Ground-based, though. I got nothing from the ABDS and everything I've heard seemed near ground." Burt took the mug and drained it. "We'll need to look for tracks. I think it's somewhere out near Snake Cliff Canyon." 

Kylie took the mug and looked mournfully into it, then shot Burt an annoyed glance. 

"Go get dressed," he told her. "We're losing daylight." 

"What about my workout, Burt? And my run?" 

Burt scowled. "We do not have time for that." 

Kylie rolled her eyes, but got up. She stopped to pour herself another mug and filled one for Burt. "I have to shower, Burt, or I won't be worth anything," she said, setting the cup down in front of him. 

He looked at his watch. "Well, hurry up." 

"Riiiight," she said, disappearing into her bedroom just off the kitchen. 

She hadn't bothered to close the door, and Burt saw her robe flutter down on the end of the bed. He carefully kept his eyes looking out the window until he heard the shower turn on from the next room. 

He'd finished the coffee and was contemplating more when he heard the shower turn off. Still no Kylie. Nancy bustled in and grinned at him. "Still waiting?" 

He nodded. "I don't know what takes her so long..." 

Nancy disappeared into Kylie's room, shutting the door behind her, to Burt's relief. 

"Almost ready?" Nancy asked, just as Kylie came out of the bathroom, nude, still combing her wet hair. 

Kylie looked down at herself then back at Nancy. "Sure, all set," she said with a grin before turning to pick up a blow dryer from the dresser next to the door. 

"You might want to skip the styling today," Nancy advised. "Burt's about ready to implode." 

With a groan, Kylie set down the dryer and crawled across the bed to the closet. "I'll just stand up and make Burt drive real fast. That should dry it." She withdrew a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and threw those on the bed, then crawled back across to the dresser. 

"Good idea," Nancy said and started to go, waiting until Kylie was out of direct line-of-sight of the door. 

"I take it breakfast is right out?" Kylie asked, stepping into the lower half of a color coordinated underwear set. 

Nancy nodded. "Sorry. But I'll pack you something to go if you make it out there before Burt starts screaming." 

"Deal," Kylie agreed. She'd slipped into the jeans and sat down on the bed to get into her socks and boots. 

"Oh, and you should wear a shirt," Nancy reminded her. 

Kylie looked down at herself, still topless. "Ya think? It's kinda hot today - I thought I'd go like this." 

Nancy grinned at that. "I think Burt's already under enough strain this morning." 


	2. Part 2

**Leapin' Lizards!**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

"See anything?" Burt asked. 

Again. 

Kylie rolled her eyes behind the cover of the binoculars she was looking through. "_No..._" she said with long-suffering patience. "I would have mentioned something if I had." She rested the binoculars on her knee. "Have you _heard_ anything yet?" 

He shot her an angry glance. "You would have heard it too!" 

"Just how late was it last night when you heard this 'growl'?" 

Burt slammed on the brakes, bringing the power wagon to a skidding stop so he could more effectively accuse her with his eyes. "Are you _implying_ that I was hearing things?" 

Kylie looked away. "Well," she said, after a deep, calming breath, "nobody _else_ heard anything, and we've been out here for hours and haven't heard anything..." She shot him a careful glance to gauge his reaction. 

She shouldn't have looked. Burt's face was all she could have hoped for. More. His eyes were wide and staring, and his mouth was pressed into a flat, implacable line. Waves of outraged indignation rolled off him, even through his Ray Bans... 

She looked away as her lips began to twitch. 

Then he sputtered, clearly fighting with himself over which of the many scathing comments he should make first. 

Kylie threw back her head and laughed. 

Burt looked away, finally catching on that he'd been had. He moved his mouth around, thinking of caustic things he could say, then put the truck in gear again. "Very funny," he muttered. 

"But Burt," she gasped out between giggles, "are you _sure_ you heard something?" He didn't answer. "I'm just saying," she gasped again, "instruments don't lie. Isn't that what you're always telling me?" 

"Keep looking," he instructed, trying to ignore her helpless laughter. 

She held the binoculars out to him. "How about you look for a while and I'll drive?" 

He took the binoculars but didn't relinquish the wheel. 

"Hey! Give me those back!" Kylie shouted, grabbing for the binoculars which Burt's longer arms effectively kept out of her reach. "You can't look _and_ drive!" She took off her seatbelt and crawled halfway over his seat, trying to get the instrument back from him. "You can't see where you're going! We'll crash into a..." she surveyed the barren desert landscape, "...dead animal carcass or something." 

Burt slammed on the brakes again. 

"Ow!" Kylie cried as her head slammed into the front rollbar support. 

"If you'd keep your seatbelt--" Then his gaze sharpened. 

"If you'd--" 

Burt wrapped his arm around her head and put his hand over her mouth. "Listen!" he hissed. 

At first, there was nothing. As Kylie began to struggle against Burt's restraining hand, they heard it. 

A high, rumbling cry, more moan than growl, which echoed off the surrounding cliffs. 

"Wmm mm rrmmng rmm?" Kylie muttered against Burt's hand. 

"What?" Burt whispered, carefully scanning the surrounding terrain. 

Kylie peeled Burt's fingers from her mouth. "Where's it coming from?" she whispered. 

Burt shook his head, then turned this way and that, trying to make out the original source of the cry. 

They heard it again, this time a little louder. 

"Sounds... sad," Kylie commented as the echoes died away. 

Burt shot her a scornful glance. "Ridiculous." 

Kylie shrugged. "It sounds sad to me." 

It sounded sad to him, too, but he wasn't about to tell her that. "Ridiculous," he repeated, but with less conviction. 

She sat motionless, still bent over the monitor screen between their seats, though her attention was still clearly on listening for that sound again. 

That's when he realized his arm was still around her, his hand resting quite comfortably on her shoulder. She didn't seem to notice. 

He snatched his arm away as if scorched, and straightened. "Well," he began, "I think we--" 

"Shh!" She put her hand on his knee to silence him, unaware that the sudden thumping of his heart drowned out any noise the desert could have made. 

Then she straightened, slowly. "Over there, don't you think?" she whispered, looking to him for confirmation. 

He took a deep, silent breath, and nodded, businesslike again. "Southwest. We'll concentrate the search in that direction." 

"There!" Kylie said. "I saw something move." 

"What did it look like?" Burt asked, already turning the power wagon in the direction of Kylie's pointing finger. 

She shook her head. "I didn't get a good look at it. More like a shadow, really. Behind that scrub over there along the cliffs." 

"We'll check it out." He stopped the truck and grabbed the rifles from the back, handing one to Kylie. The terrain near the cliffs was too rough for his truck, so the hunt would continue on foot from there. He took the binoculars from Kylie as they approached the rocks. 

"See anything?" Kylie asked. 

He shook his head. "Could be anywhere in those rocks, though." 

Kylie scanned the scrub and rocks as well, looking for any sign of movement, as they scrambled over the rocks toward the cliffs. "There!" she said, pointing toward some movement. 

Burt turned the binoculars toward the movement and his lips turned into a feral grin. "Got it," he announced. "Looks like some sort of... lizard. Big, though. Crouched on those rocks." He pointed, but Kylie couldn't get a good look at it from this distance. 

Shouldering the rifles, they headed in that direction, trying to keep an eye on the creature. 

"There it goes," Burt said, as they approached. He brought the binoculars up again. "Quadruped, and a climber." 

The shadow Kylie could see went up the rocky cliff face quickly. She only got a flash of it as it emerged from the brush and went over the edge. 

"Hurry!" Burt said, running after the lizard. 

They arrived at the location they'd first sighted it and looked around. 

"How the hell did it get up that cliff, Burt?" Kylie asked. "It's nearly vertical." 

Burt shook his head. "We'll have to go around. There's a pass through those rocks over there." He headed toward a rocky wash a short distance away. "It won't be easy to track in this area. It's all cliffs and washes and scrub. Lots of hiding places." He stopped and turned to Kylie. "Keep your rifle ready," he warned. "A few of the valley's reptiles are poisonous." 

Kylie nodded. He didn't have to explain they were after some new mixmaster mutation of the valley wildlife. "You think there's more than one?" 

"Undoubtedly," Burt said, reaching back to haul her up over a boulder. 

"Maybe we can track this one back to its lair. Find them all at one time." 

Burt shook his head, scanning the ridge they'd climbed to. "No, reptiles are mostly solitary. We'll probably be days tracking them down." He set off along the ridge. 

Kylie just sighed and followed. 

Burt put a finger to his lips, warning Kylie to silence. He leaned close to her ear. "It's caught in a trap," Burt whispered. "The walls ahead are too steep for anything to climb. Unless it sprouts wings, we've got it." He started carefully down the narrow alley created by a rockfall, but paused again. "Be ready. Cornered animals can be dangerous." 

Kylie nodded and checked her weapon and followed Burt, careful to avoid dislodging any loose rock to alert the lizard to their location. Not that she expected to be in on the action. Burt would likely turn the corner ahead, shoot the thing, and they'd head home for lunch. She glanced at her watch. Or home for an early supper, anyway. 

She came to a halt behind Burt as he paused where the alley widened into what had once been a sinkhole. It was mostly filled in at the bottom, but she could see steep walls opposite. 

Cautiously, Burt peered around into the narrow gully then ducked back. 

"You see anything?" Kylie whispered, tugging on the bit of Burt's shirt sticking out from under his vest. 

He turned back to her and shook his head. "Lot of loose rock," he murmured back. "It could be anywhere." He craned his neck around, trying to scope out the bits of the gully that could be seen from their location, then leaned back down to her. "I'll go to the right," he continued. "I don't see him there. I want you to go to the center - stay away from the walls." 

She nodded and he crept carefully forward, Kylie at his heels. 

Just as Burt emerged into the slanting sunlight, the situation changed. 

With a high, defiant shriek, a greenish brown blur landed on Burt's back from above, toppling him to the ground and into the shadows. Faster than Kylie could track, the two rolled, fighting. She raised her rifle to her shoulder, but paused. No way could she get a clear shot, and she couldn't chance hitting Burt. Desperately, she looked around for something she could use-- Her eyes lit on a rock bigger than her fist. She picked it up and threw. The pair twisted again just as the rock left her hand, and it struck Burt square between the shoulder blades. He let out a bellow of pain, but grimly held on to the creature. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Kylie muttered desperately, while she reached for another rock. 

This time it hit its intended target, and with a roar of pain of its own, it tossed Burt aside and ran. 

Right toward Kylie. 

She ducked, throwing herself out of its path, and it ran, ignoring her as if she didn't exist. 

Kylie scrambled to Burt, on the ground and winded. "Are you all right?" she asked, searching for signs of injury. 

"I would have been," he ground out, "if someone hadn't hit me with _a rock._" He was already searching for his rifle. 

"I'm sorry," Kylie whined. "I didn't mean to." She grabbed his rifle from a few feet away and handed it to him as he got to his feet. 

"It's strong," Burt said, already starting after it. "And fast. Very fast." 

"Bigger than I thought, too," Kylie said, eyeing Burt dubiously. She wondered if he'd ever forgive her. 

He nodded. "Smart, too, apparently. We'll have to be more careful." 

They emerged into the sunlight again to see it running through the rocks that rimmed the canyon. "We can cut it off," Burt said. "It's heading toward that opening on the other side. If we can just get straight across, we'll beat it." 

"Let's go," Kylie said, scrambling over the rocks toward open ground. 

They hit the ground together and started for the other side. Kylie, a better runner due to her daily morning run, quickly pulled ahead. She was almost ten yards in front of him when it happened. 

Their seismos started buzzing, and both skidded to a halt, waiting for El Blanco to leave the area. 

He didn't. 

Always showing up where he was least appreciated, he circled the canyon, nosing rocks aside at the edge where the lizard still ran, quickly leaving the canyon, and its pursuers, behind. 

As the lizard shot through the pass at the end of the canyon and climbed to higher ground, Kylie and Burt waited, hoping El Blanco would try to follow. 

He didn't. 

Kylie twisted back toward Burt, pantomiming a run back to the rocks. 

Burt shook his head. "Too far," he mouthed. 

So they stood, still as statues, alert for signs of El Blanco. 

They didn't have long to wait. 

The graboid burst from the ground just a few yards from Kylie. She opened her mouth to scream, but held it in at the last second, hoping her silence would convince the worm to go. 

It dropped to the ground, sending seeking tentacles around, searching for prey it knew was near. 

Kylie was terrified, too afraid to move a muscle, too afraid to stay still. 

Burt, terrified too, for Kylie, was torn between going to her and staying frozen himself. El Blanco didn't seem to know exactly where she was, but if the graboid continued looking, it was sure to find her. 

A tentacle shot in Kylie's direction, almost making her jump, but both her feet stayed put, even though he could see her shaking. As the tentacle came within a few inches of her feet, Burt came to a decision. 

He wished she dared turn around, to see what he was about to do. He wanted to warn her but didn't dare. El Blanco could have her in seconds if she made a sound. He pulled the one concussion grenade from his vest and threw it toward the graboid, close enough to send it away for a good long time, he hoped. 

Too close to Kylie as well. 

Kylie ducked instinctively when it went off just a few feet away, but more importantly, El Blanco disappeared instantly. 

Burt ran to Kylie even before his seismo stopped buzzing. 

He fell to his knees next to her, unresisting as she threw herself into his arms. Burt only enjoyed the embrace for a moment, though. "There's no time," he said, getting to his feet and bringing her with him. "El Blanco won't be gone long." He bent to retrieve the rifles before taking her arm and leaning them, at a run, for the rocks. 

"Are you all right?" Burt asked, after they'd reached safety. 

"What?" Kylie demanded, her face a puzzled frown. 

"Can you hear me?" Burt said, loudly and distinctly. 

"Just barely," Kylie admitted, her hands to her ears. "There's this ringing..." 

Burt nodded. "The grenade," he explained. "Your hearing should come back soon." He took her arm again. "let's get back to town." 

They started slowly back toward the plateau where they'd left the truck. 


	3. Part 3

**Leapin' Lizards!**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

"The truck should be just beyond the cliffs over that rise," Burt said. "We're almost--" He went suddenly alert. 

"_What_?" Kylie asked. 

"I think..." Burt listened intently. "Can you hear it?" 

Kylie listened carefully. "A little," she replied with a nod. "The ringing's fading. Mostly." 

Burt took a step toward the sound, then stopped. "We need to get you home." 

Kylie shook her head. "Why don't we just finish what we started?" she said. "We're already here, and my ears are better." Burt looked like he'd argue, and Kylie held up a hand. "It's not like my ears hurt, you know. We can do this. We could use those hand signals you've been teaching me!" He looked like he was wavering. "Come on, Burt. We're already so close..." 

It worked. Instantly, Burt's instincts led them on the hunt. 

They searched for another hour, following a harsh, baritone gibbering that seemed to go on and on. 

"Where's it get that noise, Burt?" Kylie asked. "Lizards have never seemed to be very vocal to me." 

Burt shook his head. "I have no idea. I've never heard anything like it." His eyes narrowed and he pointed ahead. "There it is. If it goes into those rocks..." 

As they watched, the lizard slipped up a steep, rocky hill and between two boulders. 

"Come on!" Burt urged. "It'll be trapped in that box canyon - the walls are too steep to climb. If we catch it before it realizes and tries to slip back out..." 

Kylie ran after Burt and the two of them scrambled beneath some scrub brush ringing the mouth of the canyon, and waited. 

The lizard darted around the rocks, searching for a way up, a way out, all the while it's screams echoed off the towering walls. 

"I think I've got a shot," Burt said, taking careful aim. He pulled the bolt back, ready to fire... 

Kylie's eyes sharpened. There was something about the noise it was making. If she could just... 

The creature stopped, crouched on a rock and Burt lined up the thing in the crosshairs. He started to pull the trigger... 

Kylie gasped. 

She pushed the rifle's barrel up and out of the way. The shot went wild, into the rocks. The lizard darted to the other side of the canyon, taking cover in a rocky wash, its screams echoing louder than before. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Burt shouted, trying for another shot. 

"Burt--" 

"I had it! It was ri--" 

Kylie shook her head and put an arm around Burt's shoulders, grabbing his face to put her hand over his mouth. She listened intently to the creature's screams, her face a mask of concentration. 

Burt struggled, and she held him tighter, holding him almost in a headlock. At last he gave up and settled for glaring at her from his disadvantaged position. 

She listened another moment, then, finally, she shouted something across the canyon. Burt couldn't make out what it was. He knew it wasn't English; not Spanish, either. 

The lizard creature stopped screaming. 

Burt's eyes swiveled toward the canyon and the sudden silence. 

Kylie yelled something else and waited. 

The screaming started again, but different this time. Not quite screaming. 

"Did you hear that, Burt?" Kylie said, excited. "Burt, did--" She glanced toward him, met by his angry glare. She still held a hand over his mouth, his face pressed into her breast. 

She released him abruptly with a weak, apologetic smile. "Sorry." 

"What is it?" Burt said. "Why did it stop screaming?" 

"It's not screaming," Kylie explained, excited again. "It's _French_." 

He was tall, they found, taller than Burt by nearly a foot, and covered, head to toe, with greenish-brown scales, giving him the lizard look that had mislead them. His limbs ended in lobster-like claws that only superficially resembled human hands and feet. He had matted red hair that grew sparsely on his head, arms, chest and other, more intimate parts - those revealed because he wore only a leather-like breechcloth with a crudely-made knife. 

"His name is Gustave Rousseau," Kylie explained, once they'd managed to coax him down from the rocks. Burt hadn't liked having to leave both rifles and their holsters behind, but Kylie reasoned that it was only fair after they'd pursued him most of the day and finally shot at him. 

Burt conceded that he'd be wary too. He still didn't like it. 

Kylie said a few more words to him, interspersed with "Burt" and "Kylie." 

"But what... How..." Burt began, trying to settle on a question to ask first. "What's he doing here? Why is he..?" 

"All scaly and weird-looking?" Kylie supplied. "Let me ask." She spoke to him a moment in rapid French, gestures covering both him and the valley. 

Gustave crouched, his words distorted by the harsh, anguished cries that had allowed them to track him so easily through the day. 

Kylie crouched next to him, slipping an arm around his shoulders and spoke to him in a soft, soothing voice. 

Burt waited, impatiently, though this exchange, trying not to look too threatening, or impatient, while the man shot him fearful glances. Finally, at a motion from Kylie, he squatted next to them. Gustave seemed to calm down somewhat after that, though he still broke into anguished wailing periodically. 

Finally, Kylie patted the man's arm with a sympathetic smile and turned to Burt. "He's from France," she translated. "He came here with his parents and got separated. He doesn't speak any English, he doesn't know where his parents are, and he's lost." Kylie put an urgent hand on Burt's arm. "He's scared, Burt. He's only fourteen." 

Burt nodded his understanding. "But why is he... like _that_?" 

Kylie glanced at Gustave, giving him a reassuring smile. "He's..." She paused to choose her words carefully. "He's in a circus," she said and looked away. 

Burt gave her a puzzled frown. 

Kylie met his eyes. "He's a sideshow freak," she elaborated. 

Burt stared. "But... But there aren't any more of those--" 

Kylie patted his arm, as disturbed as he was. "They're still popular in Europe. Parts of Europe, mostly rural." Her eyes hardened at Burt's continued outrage. "It's worse. That's how they got here. Some... developer, I guess, saw them at a show in Slovenia and brought them here for..." She shook her head. "Something. Gustave's not sure what, but he thinks his parents were tricked into it. I don't think it's entirely... right, whatever it is." 

Burt scowled fiercely. "Probably in Las Vegas, it's close by." 

Gustave said something excitedly when Burt mentioned Las Vegas. 

Burt looked a question at Kylie. 

She nodded. "He recognizes Las Vegas." 

"How did they get separated?" 

Kylie shook her head. "He gets a little agitated when we get to that. I think they were running away. The parents took him on a bus - he doesn't know where they were headed. They had him all covered up, but he says the driver got a look at him and freaked out. He crashed the bus, and when they police came, they took his parents away. He thinks it's all _his_ fault." 

Burt whistled in sympathy. "Why did they take them away?" 

"He doesn't know. But Burt," Kylie lowered her voice, "they told him to run." 

Burt frowned, puzzled. 

"When Gustave's parents saw the police, they told him to run away and hide, and not let anyone catch him." 

"Alone? Without knowing the language? _Why_?" 

She shook her head again. "He says they were plenty scared, so he didn't ask questions." 

"Some citizens have reason to fear the government..." 

Kylie's lips twitched into a brief smile. "I'm sure there is some kind of conspiracy there, in this case. They don't sound like bad people, Burt. Why would the police take them away?" 

"I do not know," Burt said. He gave her an intent stare, his mind already on possibilities. "I think we'd better find out." 

Kylie nodded in agreement. Then a thought occurred to her. "Burt, I've got a friend on the LAPD. He's got connections all over the country. I'm sure he could find out something." 

"Good idea," he said, standing. "We can contact Sam, too. If that bus crashed anywhere around here, he'll know about it." He shot Gustave an intent stare, prompting the boy to shy away. 

Kylie put a hand out to reassure Gustave. "Burt..." she said in a deliberately calm voice, "can you not scare the lizard guy?" 

Burt schooled his expression to a more neutral look. "We'll need to do something with him while we investigate." 

Kylie looked up at him. "Can he stay at your place tonight? I don't think he's up to meeting a lot of new people just yet." 

Burt's eyebrow rose. "I agree. I just... My place isn't set up for guests," he warned. 

"Neither is this," Kylie replied, indicating the surrounding rocks. "But this is where he's been staying for the last couple weeks." 

Burt's other eyebrow joined the first. "Two weeks?" He looked at Gustave with dawning approval. 

"Let's get back before it gets too dark to find our way to the truck." 

Burt went to collect the guns while Kylie explained their plans to Gustave. 

Burt stopped the truck in the darkness across from Nancy's to let Kylie out. 

"I've explained to Gustave that I'm going to be up to your place in a little while and that you're going to take care of him until then," Kylie told him. "You be nice to him till I get there, okay?" 

Burt shot her a disgusted stare. "Just what do you think I'm going to do to him?" he demanded. 

"I think you're going to look at him like you're looking at me now," Kylie replied, trying to keep her voice calm and even. She gave Gustave, still in the back of the truck, a reassuring smile. "Just... don't look so fierce all the time." 

Burt frowned. 

"Like that. Put a smile on your face once in a while," she explained, "or you'll scare the hell out of him." 

Burt glared at her skeptically. 

"Just remember, Burt, he can't understand your words, so your face is all he has to go by." She paused and grinned. "He doesn't know what a loveable teddy bear you are under that gruff exterior." 

Burt's chin went up so he could look down his nose at her. "I think I can handle him." 

"He doesn't need to be 'handled,' Burt. He's a very frightened teenager who's already been through too much. He needs kindness right now." 

Burt looked away but nodded his head, already frustrated. "I'm not good with people," he admitted. 

"So I noticed," Kylie said dryly. "But he's not 'people.' He's a kid. Just remember that." 

Burt nodded. 

"Let me make those calls," Kylie said, slipping from the truck. She said a few more reassuring words to Gustave with a wink, and the boy even gave her a slight smile back. "I'll bring dinner when I come, too," she finished before hurrying across the street to Nancy's. 

Burt glanced toward Gustave and tried to think of something "friendly" to say while the boy stared at him uncertainly. He finally settled for a weak smile and just drove. 


	4. Part 4

**Leapin' Lizards!**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

A few hours later, Burt's perimeter alarm sounded and he went up top to meet Kylie. 

"How'd it go?" she asked, getting a bag from Chang's out of her Rover. 

"Not bad," Burt admitted, surprised. "I'm teaching him some English. He's a fast learner." 

Kylie's eyebrows rose. "Not bad for a lizard, huh?" 

Burt grinned, following her down the stairs. "You find out anything?" 

She tossed him a glance. "Oh yeah," she said, with layers of significant meaning. 

Gustave smiled when he saw her, and launched into an excited narrative, pulling Kylie around the room to show her the wonders he'd found. While Kylie got the tour, Burt set out the meal she'd brought from town. 

Gustave told her all the new words he'd learned, too. 

"'Desert Eagle, Mossberg, Heckler and Koch' - this is teaching him English?" Kylie confronted Burt as Gustave tucked into the food with enthusiasm. Kylie was glad she'd brought extra. She brought their plates over to Burt's computer table and cleared some room while Burt got two beers out of the refrigerator and pulled over a stool from the other table. "I see you got him dressed right away. Why the, um, fur thing?" 

Gustave was wearing one of the pelts Burt had stored. It wasn't a lot more civilized than his previous apparel, but it covered more. "I gave him some clothes, but he wouldn't wear them," Burt replied. "I think the cloth irritates his scales. Or skin, actually. I noticed he's got quite a few places that are rubbed raw." 

Kylie noticed the ointment smeared liberally over a lot of him. She smiled. "And you doctored him up. You seem to do that to all your visitors." 

Burt's face flamed at the reminder of her first night in Perfection Valley. In his bunker. In his bed. 

Ruthlessly, he pushed the memory aside. "What did you find out?" he asked, and began eating. 

"I found his parents," Kylie said, almost simpering at her cleverness. "Well, Sam did. You were right - he remembered the bus." She took a bite of chicken, considering. "I'm not sure what to tell Gustave just yet. The police took them because there was a warrant for their arrest. When they ran away, they apparently took a large sum of money with them that belonged to the organizer of some kind of offbeat circus show." 

Burt frowned. "Anything we can do?" 

Kylie shrugged. "I'm not sure yet. I contacted a few people..." 

"Your friend in LA?" 

"Among others," she replied. "We should hear something by morning." She stole a glance at Gustave, who was eyeing the mashed potatoes. She pushed the bowl over to him and he piled more on his plate. "I don't know if I should tell him anything yet. I wouldn't want to get his hopes up." 

Burt glanced over at the boy too. "He can handle it," he said decisively. "He's strong. Do you know he made that knife himself? He showed me what he did. He--" 

Kylie gurgled with laughter. "You've met a fellow survivalist! Now we'll never get you two apart!" 

Four frustrating days later, Kylie hung up the phone at Chang's, an angry frown on her face. 

"Have you found out anything yet?" Nancy asked as Kylie joined her and Jodi at the lunch counter. "You've been on that phone for hours." 

Kylie heaved a sigh. "Oh, I found out something. Nothing I _like_..." She snapped the radio from her belt and keyed the mic. "Burt? This is Kylie. You available?" 

"Burt here," came the quick reply. "What've you got?" 

"We need to take a trip to Vegas," she told him, expecting the worst. The radio was silent for a few moments, while Kylie could picture Burt having one of his quiet tantrums. She shot Nancy a glance and caught the smiling exchange between her and Jodi. 

"Why?" the annoyed response came at last. 

Kylie thought of a thousand responses to that, trying to come up with the one that would keep Burt's complaints to a minimum. "To get Gustave's parents," she replied. "It's not going to be easy, and I'll need your help." He couldn't argue about that one. While Burt seemed to enjoy comparing notes with Gustave and teaching him Gummer-English, four days in his constant company was starting to wear thin. He was getting ready to turn Gustave over to Twitchell just to get him out of his hair. 

"And what are we supposed to do with Gustave while we're gone?" Burt's sarcasm was alive and well, at least. 

Still, if that was his only complaint, she had it pretty easy. 

He did have a point. While the rest of the female population of Perfection was aware of Gustave's existence, they hadn't actually _met_ the boy, and who knew how they'd react. She wouldn't want Gustave to regress if they treated him like a freak. Tyler would handle it all right. Unfortunately, the holiday weekend had kept him so busy with back-to-back tours they hadn't had a chance to tell him about Gustave over the weekend. Then, as soon as the tours ended, he scuttled off to Bixby for what was left of the weekend and now they had no idea where he was or when he'd return. 

Maybe they could take Gustave with them... 

Kylie had just keyed the mic to suggest this when the door opened and Larry walked in. "Hey guys! What'd I miss?" 

A smile curved Kylie's lips as Larry launched into his description of the convention he'd been to, seemingly without taking a breath. "Bring him into town, Burt," Kylie said. "I think it's time he met everyone anyway." 

If anyone could treat a seven-foot lizard-man as a normal person, it was Larry Norvel. 

Burt looked up at the flash of light outside of Chang's window. Kylie's rover pulled up front. "About time," he muttered. He turned to Larry and skewered him with a look. "I expect you to take care of whatever he needs while we're gone." 

Larry blinked up at him. "But... He doesn't even speak English." 

"Neither do you!" Burt turned and walked out to meet Kylie. He thought she was crazy to suggest putting Larry in charge of Gustave, but the two had hit it off right away. Probably because they were the same mental age. Now he could find out what "Great Plan" Kylie had come up with that required him to wait at Chang's listening to Larry chatter for the past hour while she got ready to go at Nancy's. He stepped outside in time to see Tyler's Jeep pull up next to the Rover. 

"Hey girl!" Tyler called, as Kylie's door opened and she slid out. "Why are you driving your-- Whoa!" 

Kylie shot him a glance and slammed the door, and Burt could understand Tyler's surprise. 

Her hair was twisted up neatly at the back of her head, she wore a no-nonsense black suit with a high collar but just enough cleavage to the white shirt underneath to entice. While the skirt only revealed her legs from the knees down, it clung in enough of the right places to suggest more than it hid. Black three-inch heels completed the look. 

"Are we ready?" 

Burt blinked as her voice dragged his eyes back to her face. She was wearing make up again. 

He frowned. 

"What are you all gussied up for?" Tyler said, voicing Burt's thoughts while taking his time walking into Chang's to get a good look. 

Burt shifted to stand between the two. 

"All part of my plan," Kylie said with a mysterious smile. "And now that you're here, you can come with us." She stepped around Burt to take Tyler's arm. 

"Whatever you want... sure," Tyler agreed without hesitation. 

"Then let's go. We're taking my truck." 

"Let me just get some coffee for-- Whoa!" Tyler got his second shock of the day as he caught sight of Gustave. "What the hell is that?" 

"We'll explain on the road," Burt said, taking his other arm and pulling him toward Kylie's Rover. 

"A man goes away for less than a day and everything changes around here..." Tyler complained. 

"You got the e-mail I sent?" Kylie said into her cell phone. "Good. Be sure to e-mail me a copy of that agreement too." She'd been on that phone since they'd been 20 miles outside of Las Vegas, calling or answering, while Burt drove and Tyler navigated through the busy streets from a map Kylie had printed at home. 

Burt was reminded how much he hated cell phones. 

Finally, she snapped the cell phone shut and slipped it into the briefcase that rested at her feet. 

Burt snapped his eyes back to the road. 

"Mr. Warrick is going to meet us there," she informed them. "You two are perfectly clear on what you're to do?" 

"Stand back, keep quiet, look threatening," Tyler recited. He sat in the back, leaning forward between the two front seats. "What do we do if he tries anything?" 

"Don't leave any marks he can use to prove an assault charge." 

Burt was still shaking his head at the revelations Kylie had made on the way to Las Vegas. "So this Jim Stinton character brought the Rousseaus here from their circus tour in Slovenia, telling them he was going to put them in a Las Vegas show, then expected them to perform in some kind of sideshow-like _brothel_?" 

"Exactly," she confirmed. "It took Mr. Warrick forever to get the story out of them, even after he found an interpreter." 

"Which explains why they ran away," Burt said. 

"Apparently Mrs. Rousseau isn't 'that kind of girl'," Kylie said. 

"I should hope not!" Burt replied, indignant. 

"And, the Rousseaus aren't the only ones Stinton's got in his brothel," Kylie added. "Mrs. Rousseau thinks he imported them just to put Gustave to work." 

"He needs to be stopped," Burt said, determined. 

"Oh, I think we'll manage to convince him," Kylie said in a saccharine-sweet voice. 

"So are Mr. and Mrs. Rousseau like Gustave?" Tyler asked. "All big and scaly?" 

"I don't think so," Kylie answered, shaking her head. "From what Mr. Warrick said, I think Mrs. Rousseau is fairly attractive, aside from her height, if a bit, um, exotic-looking. And Mr. Rousseau looks quite normal if you ignore the hands. And his voice, of course." 

"Then how did Gustave end up looking like... _that_?" Tyler asked. 

"I gather they both come from a long line of sideshow people," Kylie explained. "They probably have quite a few recessive genes." 

"More than a few," Tyler guessed. 

Kylie nodded. 

"And you think this Stinton character will just drop the charges against them?" Burt challenged. 

"If we threaten to expose his racket, he will," Kylie said. "It's been my experience," Burt said, "that men like that don't respond well to threats." 

Kyle smiled. "Well, I've got a few more tricks in my bag," she said, patting the briefcase at her feet. 

"Here's the turn, Burt," Tyler said, pointing to the street ahead. They followed the street halfway to the end, counting building numbers, until they reached a nondescript three-story brick building. 

Mr. Warrick was already there, waiting, and stepped out of the car as Burt parked the Rover in front of his Lincoln. He was about Tyler's height, about thirty-five, wearing a conservative blue suit. Everything about him screamed, "Lawyer." 

Kylie thought he didn't look nearly cutthroat enough for her needs, but he came highly recommended, and her discussions with him proved he knew his stuff. "Mr. Warrick, I presume," she said, stepping around the front of the Rover to meet him. 

"Ms. Callahan," he replied, taking her outstretched hand. 

His handshake was firm without being overpowering, Kylie noted with approval. She grinned as his eyes roamed over her in an assessing manner and he allowed just a hint of surprise to show. It seemed he'd expected someone more impressive, too. Just as well that they could both be underestimated, considering their task. Stinton would find out soon enough that appearances could be deceiving. 

"This is Tyler Reed and Burt Gummer," Kylie said, indicating each man in turn. "They'll be our 'muscle' this afternoon." 

Mr. Warrick cocked an eyebrow as he shook Burt's hand. "_The_ Burt Gummer?" he asked, taking a closer look at him. 

Burt reluctantly nodded and Kylie smiled. "He's a neighbor," she explained. "I thought we should be... prepared." She slanted a smile toward Burt with the last, earning her a halfhearted grin. 

"That... kind of explains a lot," Mr. Warrick said, giving Kylie a more thoroughly assessing look. He gave Burt and Tyler one last, approving, glance, and turned to set his briefcase on the hood of his car. "I've drawn up the papers you requested," he said, pulling a thick sheaf of paper from his briefcase. 

Kylie settled her briefcase next to his and the two exchanged pages, both perusing quickly. 

"We definitely shouldn't have any trouble with these," Mr. Warrick assured her, giving her back the papers with a smile. "There is enough there for some serious charges, providing they can be substantiated." 

"If they can't now, they will be," Kylie assured him, closing her briefcase with a snap. They turned and headed for the door at the front of the building, Kylie pausing as Burt reached it first and held it open for her. "Remember," she said quietly, "let me do all the talking." 


	5. Part 5

**Leapin' Lizards!**  
**by Shadoe Masters**

Kylie's important-looking corporate business card spurred one of the two apathetic women in the outer office into scuttling through the door marked "J. Stinton" right away. She returned after a brief wait, followed by an affable man wearing a cowboy hat and tie, and a wide, welcoming smile. His eyes noted Burt and Tyler standing behind Kylie and Mr. Warrick, then looked Kylie appreciatively up and down before settling on Mr. Warrick. He held out a hand toward him. "Mr. Callahan?" 

"I'm D.K. Callahan," Kylie said, stepping forward and taking his hand. Tyler and Burt exchanged a glance, but a slight twitch of the lips was all the reaction the lawyer showed at Stinton's obvious confusion. "This is my associate, Mr. Warrick, of Franklin, Warrick and Albright." Stinton's attention went toward Burt and Tyler standing near the door, but Kylie only looked expectantly toward Stinton, and waited. 

Stinton pushed the cowboy hat back on his head and looked between Kylie and the lawyer, a slow smile spreading across his face. "I understand you're interested in doing some business with Stinton Entertainments," he said. "I didn't know you were a woman. I don't generally deal directly with--" 

"Is this your office?" Kylie asked before he could finish. She started toward the door Stinton had just come through. "I think we'll be able to speak better in here." She stood waiting, one eyebrow gently lifted, her eyes darting briefly to the two women working in the outer office. "Our business is quite confidential, I can assure you." 

Stinton frowned briefly, but gave in and led the way into his office. "Sure, right in here," he said, leading the way. He indicated two seats before the big desk that overpowered the lavish office, then took a seat behind it, regaining some measure of control. "How can Stinton Entertainments help you today?" 

Kylie didn't waste time. Settling her briefcase on her lap and opening it, she pulled a sheet of paper from the top and pushed it across the desk toward him. "We'd like you to sign this." 

He scanned it quickly, his expression flashing annoyance before he tossed it back toward her with a snort. It landed on the corner of his desk. "Drop the charges? Are you kidding? They stole a rather large sum of money from me, not to mention putting me to a great deal of... inconvenience. I had to cancel certain deals I'd promised." His tone made clear exactly what kind of deals. 

"I'm sure," Kylie said, unsmiling. "Of course, if you don't sign, we will be forced to file this." She handed him a three page document this time. 

He flipped through it, the smile on his face growing as he went. He tossed that one back at her too. "This is all just their word against mine," he said. "And while I'm a respected businessman, they're in jail for grand theft." He lit a cigarette. "And may I remind you, prostitution is legal in this state?" 

Burt shot Tyler a quick glance. Neither men looked happy. 

"Not in this county, not outside of a licensed brothel, and not if you entice someone into it," Mr. Warrick informed him. "I also believe arrangements are not to be made outside legal counties." 

"I don't think I can be proven guilty of any of those things," Stinton said, leaning back in his chair. 

But Kylie wasn't finished yet. "We are also prepared to file this," Kylie said, placing another sheaf of papers in front of him. 

He chuckled as he picked up the neatly stapled sheets. That soon changed. With each line, paragraph, and page, his smile and confidence dropped away, until he sat staring, blank-faced, at the final sheet. 

No one said a word, no one moved, while images flashed across his inner vision and reflected on his face. 

Finally, he looked up, shot a glance toward the Las Vegas lawyer, then settled his eyes on D.K. Callahan. "How... How did you get this information?" 

Kylie's eyes didn't waver. "You are not nearly as clever as you seem to think, Mr. Stinton," she said. "To someone who knows how to look." She delved into her briefcase again, then paused and shot him a glance. "I have more. I believe there was a young schoolgirl... Deborah Leonard?" 

"You can't prove any of that," Stinton growled. 

Kylie raised an eyebrow. "Do we have to _prove_ any of that? I'm sure the Las Vegas Police Department will be more than happy to do some digging on their own, once we provide them with a few names, dates, and locations. I'm sure they'll keep a closer eye on things _after_ that, as well." 

Stinton swallowed. Recovering, he chuckled weakly, his false bravado but a ghost of his former swagger. "Hey, we can work something out..." His eyes shot back and forth between Mr. Warrick and Kylie. He settled on Mr. Warrick as the more sympathetic of the two. "I'm sure we can make some kind of deal." 

Kylie picked up the first sheaf of papers, lying discarded at the corner of Stinton's desk. She glanced at it briefly, then turned it to face him and placed it carefully in the center of the desk, directly in front of him. 

Stinton only hesitated a moment. Snatching up a pen, he scribbled a hasty signature at the bottom then tossed the paper across the desk at her. He wasn't smiling now. His eyes met hers with an angry scowl. 

Mr. Warrick wasted no time scooping up the signed document and other papers scattered upon the desk and slipping them into his own briefcase. He closed it with a final snap. 

Without another glance toward Stinton, Kylie turned to the lawyer. "Mr. Warrick, I think we're finished here." She rose smoothly to her feet and walked to the door, but Stinton stopped her before he exited. 

"We've got a deal, right?" he asked. Then he stood, gathering his shattered confidence. "I don't want to see those accusations again." 

Kylie stopped and turned to him. "I think your time here in Las Vegas is over, Mr. Stinton. We wouldn't want to meet again." Without waiting for reply or reaction, she walked out the door, followed by Mr. Warrick, Tyler, and finally, Burt. 

Burt paused a moment at the door to glare at the man. He didn't like that he'd gotten off so easily, but they'd accomplished what they came to do. And he'd be satisfied with that. If the things Kylie had indicated were true, he'd talk to her about turning her information over to the police when they got back to Perfection. 

Burt and Tyler waited, leaning against the Range Rover in front of the building as Kylie paused to speak to the lawyer. "I'd like you to file those immediately, Mr. Warrick," she instructed. "We'll be at the jail, waiting. If you meet any snags, you have my cell." Her expression hardened. "I don't intend to allow Mr. and Mrs. Rousseau to spend one more night in jail." 

Mr. Warrick nodded. "I don't anticipate any problems, Ms. Callahan. I've already asked to see the judge. The whole process shouldn't take more than a few hours." 

"Excellent," Kylie said with a smile. 

"And what should I do with these other papers?" Mr. Warrick asked, referring to the document that had so frightened Stinton. 

Kylie's smile turned feral. "File them, of course," she said. She reached into her briefcase and handed him several other documents. "See what you can do with these, too," she continued, handing them over. "Not nearly as detailed as those, of course, but I'm sure you'll find something you can work with." 

Mr. Warrick added them to the stack in his briefcase. "I'm certain I will," he assured her. 

"And make no mistake, Mr. Warrick," Kylie added. "I want Stinton buried." 

"I'll see to it, Ms. Callahan," he replied, holding out a hand. "It's been a pleasure working with you. I hope I can be of service again." 

"I have a few other tasks I'll need you for, Mr. Warrick," Kylie said with a cryptic smile as she shook his hand. "I'll be in touch as soon as we've settled the Rousseaus." 

They parted and Kylie got in the Rover. 

As Burt started it and pulled into traffic, Tyler leaned against the front two seats. "So, what exactly was in those papers anyway?" he asked. 

Kylie's mouth hardened as she turned to meet his eyes. "Trust me, you don't want to know. Suffice to say, however, he's a very unsavory man - even for Las Vegas. And if Mr. Warrick is as good a lawyer as I'm starting to think he is, Stinton won't be seeing the sun for a long, long time. 

Meeting Lucas and Sabine Rousseau had been enlightening. It was easy to see where Gustave got his appearance. Sabine Rousseau was a very tall woman - nearly Burt's height - slender and shapely, with bright red hair and exotic upswept eyes. Her voice was breathy and sugar-sweet. Lucas, even taller than Burt, had very dark and excessively dry skin that peeled constantly. His voice was the opposite of his wife's - baratone deep and rumbling. When he chuckled, as he often did, being of a sunny disposition, people looked for rockslides. The only truly obvious defect he had were his hands, which were lobster claw-shaped, like his son's. Lucas handled his jailtime ordeal well, coming out with a wealth of stories to tell, while Sabine weathered her time by retreating to a dignified distance. Until they spotted Gustave, that is. Then she unbent and hovered over her only chick as any mother would do. 

By the time Burt, Tyler and Kylie had sprung Lucas and Sabine from jail, convinced them they weren't just more American "entrepreneurs" trying to lure them into a life of sin, reunited the happy couple with their son, and reshuffled the inhabitants of Perfection so they'd all have a place to sleep for the night, it was almost midnight. Burt and Kylie paced in the darkness beside Nancy's house, enjoying the cool evening breeze and the absence of joyous French voices catching up on the events of the past few weeks. 

They could still hear them chattering excitedly from within the house's living room, Larry making a random comment from time to time, Lucas's bass rumble clearly discernable from the babble, and Nancy's voice occasionally raised to offer food or drink or extra pillows. 

"She lives for houseguests," Kylie said, shaking her head with a smile. She was back to her usual jeans and t-shirt, her hair cascading around her shoulders, just an annoying diagonal crimp to prove it had been restrained into a business-like chignon for the day. 

Burt shook his head, though without the smile. "You going to be all right on the couch?" 

Kylie grinned. "I'm a restless sleeper, so I'll roll off a few times." She preferred stretching out when she slept and small surfaces could be dangerous. "On second thought, I might just throw some blankets on the floor. Not as far to fall." 

Burt stopped, his signal that they'd walked too far into the darkness and it was time to turn around. They turned, and followed their footsteps back. 

"Besides," she continued, "it should only be for a couple of nights. Gustave should be fine with Larry. Those two look like best friends." 

Burt nodded. "We should be able to get that trailer ready for them in a couple of days." He frowned in thought. "It's moving it that might prove to be a problem." 

"It is a _mobile_ home, isn't it? Just hook it up to a truck!" 

Burt gave her That Look. "There's more to it than that," he began, his voice in 'lecture' tone. "The power lines have to be run, water lines, they'll need to tap into the well, a mountain of permits - including Twitchell's. And that old trailer has been sitting there so long, we have no idea if it's movable at all. I don't even know where we'll move it _to_." 

"What about that old Riley place?" Kylie suggested. "You said they had that trailer on their land. Can't you just hook up to their power? That's far enough away from town, don't you think?" 

Sabine Rousseau, once she learned about Perfection Valley's isolation, was more than happy to settle her family in the area - even after El Blanco had roared through town. Twice. Her experience with American "showbiz" hadn't been to her liking and she wasn't eager to take her chances in the world again. Apparently, whatever Sabine wanted, Lucas and Gustave were only too eager to give her. Since Stinton had signed the document admitting that the $50,000 they were found with was their own money, rather than his, they had a nice little nest egg that would get them started in whatever they wanted to do. 

Of course, Jodi had taken one look at them with their son and started making plans for Perfection Valley's own little sideshow attraction. She was just waiting for the family to get settled before she suggested the idea. 

Kylie didn't plan to tell her that Lucas Rousseau had already asked about the possibility of creating his own new American sideshow, right there in Perfection. She figured she'd give him a little bit of negotiating advice before he had to go up against Perfection's resident MBA. 

"What if the Rileys come back?" Burt wanted to know. "We never did find out what happened to them." 

Kylie stared at him. "They've been gone twelve years, Burt. I doubt they'll be back in the next month or so. By then we'll have them all settled. Far enough from town that they'll get a little peace, close enough to visit." As far as Kylie was concerned, that settled the matter. 

"We'll have to find a way to get them legal title to the land. Especially once we get the _government_ involved. All these damned permits! I--" 

"I'll get Warrick on it," Kylie said quickly. As much to settle the matter as cut off Burt's impending rant about government bureaucracy, interference, profiles, and who knew what else. 

Burt stopped. 

Kylie automatically turned around and started the other way before she realized they weren't even halfway back to the house. She turned back when she realized Burt hadn't moved. She cocked her head to the side, puzzled at the suspicious glare he leveled at her. 

"'DK'?" he accused. 

Kylie shifted, looked away, then glanced back at him. "What?" she finally asked, innocently, looking off to where the moon outlined the distant cliffs. 

He raised an eyebrow. 

She endured the silence a moment. She knew what he was doing, and it wasn't going to work. She stared stoically toward the cliffs. Finally, she looked at him. He was still there; that eyebrow still waiting. "Don't you aim that thing at me," she snapped. 

The eyebrow crept a fraction of an inch higher. 

She turned her gaze back to the distant hills. 

Burt settled his hands on his hips. 

Kylie's eyes darted toward him, then snapped back. She sighed, rolling her eyes. She turned angrily to face Burt, jamming her own hands on her hips. "Doreen, okay? I hate it! And if you repeat that anywhere, I'll... I'll post all your security codes on the Internet!" Burt started, towering over her a moment, then he relaxed. "No, you wouldn't." 

She turned away from him again, chin in the air, smug and defiant this time. "Yes, I would." 

"No, you wouldn't," he said, pacing into the darkness. 

"Yes, I would!" she assured him, following. 

"You wouldn't." 

"I would!" 

"No, you wouldn't." 

"Burt! I said I would!" 

"No, you wouldn't..." 

END


End file.
